ANGRY MAN PT. 1

Angry Man is staying indoors today. He has days like this sometimes, when he just knows. Today he knows because when he woke up it was cold, he’d overslept, and was awakened by the grating melody of construction workers grinding or drilling or jack hammering or whatever it is they do, right outside his bedroom window. Not a good start.

Oh yes, from the minute he woke up Angry Man knew. He knew to tread carefully, especially in the kitchen where so many things can go wrong. He knew to be extra careful with appliances, things made of glass. But all his care didn’t stop him from burning his toast, spilling hot sauce over his clothes, oven and floor – the cap came off while he was shaking the bottle – he should have known it would.

No, it’s not safe out there today; it’s barely safe for him at home. Had he been more alert he might have seen the open kitchen cabinet door before clanging his head on it. If you didn’t know him like I do, it would be easy to feel sorry for him. But don’t make that mistake. Not even when he’s rubbing his fist, sore and scraped from his revenge on the door.

I wonder what would happen if he could go outside. If he could only see the simple beauty of a perfect sunny day, would he be less angry? There’s a high risk of happiness out there. But it’s better for everyone if he just stays inside and struggles on alone.

Angry Man is staring out the window now, tea steams into his eyes. I watched him burn his lip on the first sip. He takes this as proof that everything and everyone is out to get him. How ironic he should fear a world that should really fear him.

His lip fires with every sip, yet he stubbornly refuses to wait for it to cool. He’ll drink his tea when he damn well wants and he wants to drink it now. He’s in charge, he’s in control, not the tea, and he proves it with every hurtful sip. Good for you Angry Man.

He’s muttering to himself now. Angry that he can’t go out, can’t check the mail or answer the phone – it could only be bad news on a day like this. Can’t do anything but sit inside and wait it out. Wait and sulk. Angry Man can sit and sulk with the best of them. He could go pro.

Angry Man keeps secrets pretty well too. But I know almost everything about him and I’m going to tell you. I’m not scared of him anymore. The worst he could do is kill me, and he already did that.

❮ STILL TASTY

EVIL TRICKS

SUPA FRESH ❯

BERT

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