“Sometimes I think I could eat mashed potatoes all day long.”
– Only sometimes?
“Do you think when we nail a good recipe the ingredients are all like, “fuck yeah, this was worth my life?”
– No. But mealtime with her is worth mine.
“There’s something farting on the moon!”
– Could be true.
“I can’t believe we spent so many years not eating papaya.”
– They were dark times indeed.
“The world’s gonna go by bye bye.”
– When you’re on fire and drowning at the same time, the end is probably nigh.
“Red wine on top of tiredness equals melted human.”
– Friday nights end early around here.
“You were an asshole. I don’t think you’re an asshole now.”
– I love it when she whispers sweet nothings in my ear.
“It’s not good to sneeze when you got egg in your mouth.”
– 🥚💣
“I must have had about thirty ear orgasms already.”
– Sometimes a song just hits you in that special place.
“I woulda been a good hippie.”
– There’s still time.
“Hot off the fresh.”
– Some sentences come out of the oven too soon.