– Apparently my eyebrows have reached puppet-like proportions and it’s no laughing matter.
Author: Husband
“See, movies were better back then. They didn’t have all these guns and whores and beat ’em ups.”
– ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
“I feel like I have bacon oil up my nose because all I small is bacon.”
– Don’t let your Neti pot run dry. Bacon Oil. Now available in 6oz, 12oz and our new Jumbo 1-gallon jugs.
“That kitchen is a jerk!”
– Corner cabinets can, in fact, be real assholes to deal with.
“Do you ever get hungry but you don’t have an appetite?”
– She has a taste for nonsense.
“You got shit fast.”
– At least one of us drank too much too quickly.
“It’s amazing how beer is really about the weather.”
– Cold weather: Chimay. Hot weather: Corona. See?
“Alright, into the kick ass-ness”
– And out of the shit.
“It’s called thinking medicine.”
– Or, as you and I call them, M&M’s.
“You’re getting wrassless.”
– When it comes to words, I can’t always pin her down, but it’s fun to try.
“I’m starting to lose your words.”
– They can be found in that part of her brain where sleep is.”