California Milk Processor Board
This campaign is famous for a bunch of reasons.
Brilliant strategy based on human truth.
Brilliant ideas that capture moments when only milk will work.
Brilliant execution that entertains.
All summed up with a seemingly simple tagline that delivers everything it needed to.
And nothing more.
I’d argue they’re flawless in every regard.
They’re so rad it’s hard to pick a fave.
“Don’t eat the cake” is a contender.
As are “Priest” and “Heaven or Hell?”
But “Aaron Burr” stands out as one of my all-time faves.
Real fans may recall the song on the radio in this spot was performed by the Vienna Wood Orchestra.
Which may have foreshadowed things to come.
But nothing will ever beat the Battle for Milkquarious.
Milk Processor Education Program
This ad is as good as they could have made it.
And it’s downright funny.
The strategy is what makes it bad.
We get it. Nut milks are kicking dairy milk in the udders.
But there are lots of good reasons for this.
And this spot does nothing to address them.
Also, in case anyone forgot, almonds, cashews, and macadamias grow on trees.
So the joke doesn’t quite land.
And it will do nothing to convince non-dairy milk drinkers they should reconsider what goes in their tea or Trix.
This feels like a first thought that relies on star power rather than a great idea or insight.
Aubrey is brilliant despite the hate.
The script is brilliant despite all the showing what you say and saying what you show.
Kudos for squeezing in a dick joke.
And the execution is brilliant.
Except for the double taglines at the end.
But the bogus premise of a celeb investing in something they didn’t know wasn’t real?
Did I miss the joke?
Nope. I got it.
It just doesn’t live up to “Got Milk?”
And that’s just sad.
Coulda Shoulda Woulda
I never like to say an ad is bad without offering some thoughts on how it might be improved.
After all, judging is easy and ideas are hard.
For this one, maybe if it had been acorn milk that would have helped.
Or pine cone milk.
At least those would be more like the nut milks regular milk is trying to compete with.
Or else go fully ridiculous – Battery Milk for long-lasting energy.
Feather Milk for weight loss.
Eggshell Milk for strongish bones.
Shit so dumb it could never be milk, milk.
Aubrey could talk about how these days it seems like people will make milk out of just about anything.
But should they?
Do those other milks have enough vitamins to keep you strong and healthy?
Because there’s only one real milk.
And it’s the only one with the nutrients you really need.
I feel like the creatives got given the wrong brief.
Here’s a new insight I just made up.
People who don’t drink real milk might be low on certain vitamins that help keep them healthy.
Then we could show people who don’t drink Moo Milk suffering.
A kid bites into a piece of cake and their teeth crack.
A dog humps a man’s leg and his tibia breaks.
A Mom runs out of energy and gets stuck halfway up the stairs.
Or forgets what she was doing in the middle of doing it.
Someone hands them a carton of real milk, they take a sip, perk up, and life is good again.
Slap that iconic “Got Milk?” end frame up there and you’re done.
Or maybe my brain isn’t working.
Because I mostly drink oat milk.