I’m writing a book about all the times I’ve almost died. It’s called…
A Laugh Threatening Situation.
If you snickered even a little at the title, then you’re gonna love it.
Below is a sneak peek at the introduction and I welcome any and all feedback.
In the coming months, I’ll be sharing early drafts of specific chapters for your honest critique. Each chapter is a short story so it won’t matter what order you get them in.
So this is the deal: I will write funny shit. And you tell me if it’s funny.
Or just shit.
Together we can make A Laugh Threatening Situation as good as possible before it gets published. And if you subscribe, I’ll add your name to the acknowledgments – and my Wall of Fame.
For now, here’s a little more information about the book.
According to Wikipedia, only 5% of people have ever had a near-death experience.
In my life (so far) I’ve nearly died 43 times.
I may not have floated through a tunnel of light, seen Heaven, or spoken to God every time, but over the years I have repeatedly and unintentionally proven to myself and others that you don’t have to flatline to learn life’s most important lessons.
Coming close can often do the trick. And I’ve had more close calls than three cats combined.
These include stealing bail money from cranky cops in the Carolinas, partying with 80’s rock stars on Mt. Everest, getting lost in the snowy backcountry of Japan, seeing ghosts while surfing in Costa Rica, subway muggers in New York, the entire myriad of things that can kill you in India, people with guns, bad drivers, erupting volcanoes, dodgy drug dealers, and hilarious stuff like Leukemia, to name a few.
In this life-changing book, I recount them all in harrowing and humorous detail. You will enjoy every page.
Assuming you live long enough.
The good news is humans are living longer than ever. Thanks to science, modern medicine, better diet, better health care, and autonomous vehicles.
The less good news is there are still plenty of dumb ways to die.
Part autobiography, part survival guide, A Laugh Threatening Situation will be filled with short stories and Life Pro Tips to help people learn from my many missteps, mistakes, and occasional madness. Readers will learn to navigate their lives safely and smartly.
And maybe avoid a dumb death.
A Laugh Threatening Situation – Introduction
I’ve nearly died forty-three times.
I know what you’re thinking.
You’re thinking one of three things:
This guy must be the biggest idiot ever. (Possible).
This guy must be the luckiest idiot ever. (Also possible).
I need to read this idiot’s book. (Definitely).
Before this book was a book it was a one-man comedy show that premiered at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. Back then I scared myself by remembering and recounting seventeen times I’d almost died.
But then friends began to remind me of things. Things that I had long forgotten. Things they could never forget.
So now the number is up to forty-three. And it could go higher.
Not because I haven’t learned anything, but because somebody somewhere is probably going to read this and remember something we did together that scarred them emotionally. Or physically. Or both.
On opening night I shared a handful of stories to a packed house and despite some technical issues, the audience laughed at the right moments, and I was inspired to share more.
Hence this book.
In it, you will discover epic tales of survival written to help you avoid a dumb death. You will laugh at my many missteps, mistakes, and occasional madness. You will learn how to navigate your life safely and smartly.
And you will come to appreciate the miraculous close calls and near misses so many of us experience with frightening frequency.
The sooner this is over the safer we’ll all be.
I believe the things we spend time thinking about are the things we attract.
So I suggest you read fast.
That said, my hope is that you might learn one or two things that could maybe save your life someday.
So don’t read too fast.
However fast or slow you read, somewhere along the way you may come to the conclusion that I have a death wish.
You may think I’m risky, naive, or even stupid. And I have been all those things. Sometimes all three at the same time. Sometimes all three at the same time, and drunk.
But I don’t have a death wish. I have a life wish. I want to see, feel, taste, explore, try, and do everything. And sometimes I get a little carried away is all.
After 43 near-death experiences, you still can’t tell by looking at me.
Sure, I’ve got my share of scars and possible brain damage, but the reality is I’ve got a lot to be thankful for.
And with that in mind, I want to acknowledge the friends, family, spirits, entities, angels, gods, doctors, safety equipment, forces of nature, four-leaf clover, upside down horseshoes, crossed fingers, rabbit’s feet, and lucky dice that have kept me here this long.
And thank you too, dear reader.
My life is in your hands.
Want to keep reading? Subscribe to get advance chapters in your inbox or join me for a Live Stream and share your feedback in real-time. This is an excerpt from the forthcoming book, A Laugh Threatening Situation by Eran Thomson.