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I’ve been a fan since Cookiepuss, So please relax and don’t make a fuss

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Officer… I just told you.

When I chose to attend the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill I couldn’t wait to leave.

My first-grade teacher was not impressed with my knife skills.

My first pair of skis were hand-carved from an old shipping palette by my father.

I was invited by the Love, Hope, Strength Foundation to trek up Mt. Everest and raise money for cancer. It nearly killed me.

I’ve been told many times in my life that I look like John McEnroe, but you cannot be serious.

I used to get sent to my room to write stories. As punishment. And I was bad a lot.

Camp taught me how to make a Tepee, dance at a Pow-wow, get to second base with a girl, and keep a canoe from tipping.

I used to have a girl’s name, so I changed it to Steve Austin aka The Six Million Dollar Man. Almost.